i’m a huge fan of politically incorrect jokes. listen to this absolute classic: “abraham lincoln was never president”!
Holy. Crap. I just found an email argument between me and some random internet person about evolution and creationism. Apparently I thought this was important enough to print out and save for TWENTY YEARS!!!
Cannot tell you how many times I’ve been on the phone with Hank and it’s clear he isn’t listening and then I say you’re not listening and then he says, “Hold on someone on the Internet is wrong about something.”
You just got reblogged and commented on by John Green! Be honored !
He’s…he’s my brother…
I bet this person is facepalming so hard right now
The wolves that destroyed the Beavers’ home in The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe were mostly real animals with one or two CGI ones added in, although their tails had to be digitally removed and re-added. Their tails kept wagging while filming the scene, making them seem less vicious.
The Dark Hedges in County Antrim, Ireland is a beautifully eerie avenue of beech trees that were planted by the Stuart family back in the 1750s. Their intent was to create a striking landscape to impress its visitors as they approached the entrance to their mansion, the Gracehill House. You may notice the mystifying scene from the hit HBO series “Game of Thrones,” as it’s served as a setting for the famous Kingsroad.
- Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
- Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
- Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
- Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
- Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
- Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
- An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
- A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
- Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
- An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
- A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
- Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
- An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
- Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
- Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
- Apathyologism: You have 2 cows. You do not care.
- Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
- Atheism: You have 2 cows. There is no God.
- A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
- A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
- Russia: You have two cows. Since they are both female, if you happen to keep them in the same stable you will pay a 5,000 rouble fine for homosexual propaganda.
- PETA: You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.
- Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England. As you assume the throne, you throw them off a building.
- Hussie: You have 2 cows. You ask for another one. Instead of getting just 1 cow, you get 2,485,506 cows.
- Romney: You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.
- Once-ler: You have 1 cow. Everyone decides to make 5 different versions of that cow.
- Old Spice: You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.
- An Irish Corporation: You have a million cows because they're everywhere
- Tumblr: You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
- Also Tumblr: I give you a hamburger.
- Night Vale: You do NOT have two cows. Cows do not exist. What's a cow? Show me a cow! That's not a cow! Who let you in here?
- Tom Hiddleston: You have two cows. You are very sorry for them.
- Thranduil: You do not have two cows, you have an elk. Riding on two cows is not majestic. Also the dwarves are on fire.
- Dwarves: You had two cows but now they're on fire.
- Bilbo Baggins: You did not invite those two cows for dinner.
- Cows: The shit you go through.
- This post: Started off as a post that explained different goverments but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked
- The reader: i came out to have a good time and I honestly feel attacked<p>ahhhaha</p>
my life goal is to reblog this every monday
I’m tempted to set this up in my queue every Monday for a year.
See this every Monday, Reblog this every time. (:
Perfection. Monday at 12:29am. Reblog everytime.
This commercial is amazing.
I work at an Under Armour store and we got to see this commercial way before they showed it on TV and everyone was speechless except one dude. He was all like “What the hell? Why the fuck would they make a ballet commercial? It’s not a sport.” My boss was quick to jump down his throat and said “Alright then get your ass on the floor and work on you tippy toes for the rest of your shift. If I fucking see you off them you will be the first of the temps to get cut!” He was on his tippy toes for the last hour and a half of his shift lol
If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.
After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he’d prefer six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud.
I fucking hate this thing
some of them i hadn’t even seen before
I fucked up at the 2nd sentence….